HEALING MARRIAGES AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
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(1 Corinthians Chapter 12)
1. Purpose and plan of marriage
God's purpose and plan is for a man and a woman to be joined together in lifelong marriage with the help of the Holy Spirit.
2. God's order
God gave us a perfect "handbook" on marriage, the Bible, which gives us guidance and instructions. One Scripture that stands out is in:
1 Corinthians 3:11
(11) “For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.”
3. Problems occur when:
a) Jesus Christ is not the centre of the marriage;
b) The marriage partners are not committed to Him;
c) They are not obedient to Scripture.
4. God's order is:
a) We worship Him first.
b) Our ministry in marriage should be to one another.
c) Children come next.
d) Our ministry to the world comes last.
5. Order within marriage:
a) 1 Corinthians 11:3
(3) “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
b) Man's headship is in Christ. If he is led by Christ then he will be in authority. This role is often reversed today where women are taking over leaving the man in a subordinate role.
6. Testimony:
Spiritual leadership of husband.
Wisdom needed
Example of woman who was expected to follow her husband everywhere, affected her nervous system and she was in a mess.
7. Testimony:
Husband laying down his life for wife.
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
1 Peter 3:7
(7) “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Note: that your prayers may not be hindered.
Protection, heads, he cherishes, encourages, supports her. Importance of this – women should not be put down. Pray together.
Action point
Prayer time:
Repentance from wrong order:
a) Women taking over
b) Men relinquish their role
c) Be totally honest in your repentance
UNBELIEVERS:
8. Do not marry unbelievers
2 Corinthians 6:14-18
(14) “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? (15) And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? (16) And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell in them, and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people.’ (17) Therefore ‘Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.’ (18) ‘I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters,” says the Lord Almighty.”
Christians are told not to marry unbelievers:
9. Unbelieving wives and husbands
1 Corinthians 7:13-15
(13) “And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. (14) For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. (15) But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.”
A woman prayed for her husband; a long-time alcoholic, for 30 years before he came to know the Lord.
The principle is that a Christian either man or woman should exercise wisdom and seek the Lord for a marriage partner.
Action point
Prayer:
a) For those who seek a marriage partner.
b) For those who have unbelieving marriage partners.
c) For those who are separated and believing for restoration in their marriage.
10. God hates divorce
Malachi 2:16
"For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence,"
Says the Lord of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."
11. Results of divorce
Effect on children:
Heartache Misery
Bitterness Condemnation
Rejection Violence
Children with no father/mother to relate closely to.
Pray for healing from pain of divorce.
12. People living together without marriage
1 Corinthians 6:9
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites.”
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
(18) “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. (19) Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? (20) For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.”
1 Corinthians 3:17-19
(17) “If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are. (18) Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.”
Action point
Ministry:
a) Call for repentance
b) Cut ungodly soul ties
13. Some reasons for disharmony:
PHYSICAL ABUSE
A husband may physically abuse his wife in rages of anger, which could lead to serious damage to her body and physical wellbeing.
The husband otherwise can be quite a good man. Wives in such cases should seek Christian counselling or to tell the husband she can no longer remain under these circumstances until he seeks help and has deliverance from anger.
VERBAL ABUSE
Some husbands criticise their wives in public, demeaning them, showing lack of respect.
Testimony:
If husband has a critical spirit - wife will often begin to be the same.
Words can set off a tirade of abuse.
James 3:5-12
(5) “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! (6) And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. (7) For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. (8) But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. (9) With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. (10) Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. (11) Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? (12) Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.”
Action point
Ministry:
a) Repentance from the wrong use of the tongue.
b) Repentance from anger leading to physical abuse.
14. Relationships with children
Advice to parents: appreciate your children and show it.
Some parents regard their children as nuisances who interfere with their lifestyle.
Advice to fathers:
Ephesians 6:4
“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
The Holy Spirit will help and guide parents in the example they set in all things. They need to be role models in their homes and spiritual life - (born again). Children often look to their fathers in particular for their future guidance. Children look to their mothers because of their in their love, tireless care and being available.
15. Unsaved children
Acts 16:31
So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household."
Action point
Prayer:
a) Lead parents in repentance over their wrong attitudes towards their children.
b) Pray for children who are not following the Lord – backslidden.
c) Pray for unsaved children to be led to the Lord.
16. Honour parents
We are all called to honour our parents - alive or dead. Scripture reads:
Deuteronomy 5:16
“Honour your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”
One of the curses of the law is:
Deuteronomy 27:16
“Cursed is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt.” And all the people shall say, “Amen!”
Blessings and curses
There are seven blessings and seven curses referred to in Scripture.
Seven blessings: (Deuteronomy 28)
There are seven curses referred to in the same chapter:
We can retain the sins of our parents and ancestors and be cursed or we can let their sins go by honouring and forgiving our parents.
John 20:23
“If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."
Action point
Prayer:
Call on those present to repent and honour and forgive their parents and renounce the curses of the law.
17. Domination and control
Jezebel spirit.
Parents need to take their hands off teenagers. Pray for them, trust and believe God to take care of them.
Domination can be a spirit of witchcraft - even by a mother-in-law or father-in-law after their children's marriages. It is necessary to cut the umbilical cord.
Action point
Pray for:
a) Families to be united.
b) Parents renounce any wrong control or domination over their children.
c) Pray for children with whom contact has been lost by the parents.
18. Principles for marriage
"Til Death Do Us Part"
a) To be born again Christians.
b) Respect and trust each other.
c) Settle differences quickly.
d) Demonstrate love and care.
19. Principles for families
a) Worship and pray together.
b) Sharing – give and take. Make sacrifices and receive blessings.
c) Honour and respect each other.
d) When one hurts all feel it.